Lisa Investigates: Are Haitians Eating My Strays?

Hello to the gentle and kind readers of BNN. This is Lisa (Lisaisablogger) reporting from my hometown of Wilmington, South Carolina. For those of you who have followed my antics over the years in Bastiat Discord, Spicy Chat (I’m now banned they think I’m a lolcow), and most recently President Sunday’s community, you know that I have a soft spot in my heart for stray cats.

A few years back there was this Jew dentist who reported Karen and I for feeding the strays outside of his establishment and threatened to call the police on us. Needless to say I decided to not patronize his business, besides my Obamacare wouldn’t cover it anyway. My teeth only seem to have issues when I eat a bowl of oddly favored ice cream like the limited edition fall pumpkin-spiced variety.

Anyway, after my beloved Chubbette died (the boys thought I was talking about Stardust at first) I grew even more attached to stray cats. I’m only supposed to have one cat in my apartment but now I house thirteen, its my lucky number. When I heard that Haitians might be eating cats I started taking triple doses of my medication to not have to think about it but that ended putting me into an even worse mood and a slight depression.

I was told by all of the usual Democrats that Haitians are not eating cats but that provided little comfort. I’ve been lied to my entire life. I believed in the past that cats were being eaten in my hometown of Wilmington, why not in Springfield? Would they taste any different? One time I wrote a Bastiat fanfic about cats because I idolized Gohndim very much and he wrote a fanfic, though cats were my special touch.

After three days of thinking about how to determine if Haitians are indeed consuming felines I decided to fashion a trap using discount tinsel and two dish racks from Dollar Tree. I placed the trap two blocks from the Jew Dentist and came back the next night but alas I didn’t catch a damn thing. On my way home I missed the bus and had to walk an extra mile or so. I will wait for the sores on my feet to heal before I try again. Thank you for reading and consider reading my blog: https://ocdbloggergirl.wordpress.com/.

-Lisaisablogger