Three Countries To Invade After Iran
Now that the invasion of Iran is imminent it is time for us foreign policy wonks to look ahead and map out America’s next and next next intervention. The globe is ripe for conquest as the United States’ military is still number one in the world despite a disgustingly fat and lazy manpower pool to recruit from. Our window may be closing and we need to strike while the iron is blazing.
- Cuba. A beautiful island paradise, or it will be after we conquer it and turn it into one of the nicest destinations in the Americas. Liberating the good people of Cuba is long overdue and no longer shall we suffer the threat of Communism so close to our borders.
- Greenland. As Trump rightly said, simply because some people landed there on a boat centuries ago doesn’t mean that they own it. Denmark is not prepared to pay the price of a full US conquest of Greenland. And the full price is much higher, likely a collapse of NATO. It is time for Europe to repay America for saving it in two world wars and for providing the majority of its security ever since. Greenland deserves to be in American hands, hands that will utilize its vast resources more efficiently and for the benefit of humanity broadly.
- Mexico. Cartels have rules Mexico for far too long. The majority of Northern Mexico should be annexed and turned into a quasi-slave colony, continuing to manufacture cheap cars and industrial equipment. Mexico also allegedly still has great natural resources. Mexico City can be left to whatever state comes into being after our conquest as its a shithole city.
For too long we’ve been too afraid to use our military to exert our noble influence on the world. Ronald Reagan once described America as a shining city upon a hill, and now we will build more shining cities all across our renewed American empire.
-Rareest Pepper
