Geek’s Completely Fucked Music Tastes

I only get truly sick about once every twelve years. I’ve found solace in that fact over the past six weeks or so of self-quarantine. Hopefully my god-tier immune system will save me from the Chinese Bat Flu. Unfortunately I threw up in my mouth at my computer today watching GeekWitGlassesTV. A little spilled onto my beloved cat who was sleeping peacefully in my lap.

Today, I finally realized how fucked the younger generation is. Geek was talking about the best vocalists of all time and was rattling off names like “Lorde,” “Lana Del Rey,” and “Adele.” As a fan of real music, I had to break it to him that shit these days is all autotuned garbage. Still, he insisted that some of these awful vocalists are actually some of the best of all time. So, I hopped into a voice chat with the dumbest man in West Virginia and challenged him to name the five best singers of all-time. Here is who he came up with:

  1. Prince
  2. Adele
  3. Jimi Hendrix
  4. Johnny Cash
  5. Lana Del Rey

We’re fucked folks if these people are going to run the country in the coming years. By the looks of the list, you might have thought that Geek was trying to name the best guitarists of all-time with Prince and Hendrix on the list. Hendrix was never really known for his amazing vocals.

Geek admitted on live stream that he also enjoyed Nickelback, after which I had to end the call to prevent developing cancer. And right after I left, Geek also defended Rebecca Black’s vocal capabilities, the notoriously awful singer who is responsible for “Friday,” the song so bad that it became a worldwide meme. Please pray for Geek, he’s suffering from a massive brain tumor that is pressing on the regions of the brain that impact intelligence and hearing.

-Gohndim

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