We Are Back: Bastiat Sues BNN and Loses

On the 19th anniversary of 9/11, Bastiat sent BNN a cease and desist letter pleading with BNN to stop publishing the news. His letter stated that our stories were “..hurtful to his career, ego, and sex life.” BNN ignored the letter, much like we’ve ignored the annoying pleas of numerous single-digit viewer Twitch streamers.

But then, he followed up the cease and desist with an official lawsuit. Pepper and I purchased $5000 suits using our PPP small-business loan money (thank you Trump!) and headed down to Florida to have our day in court.

Bastiat opted to be his own lawyer while we paid for one of the hottest women we could afford. After the strip club, we had no more money but the court appointed defender looked like he’d do a good job. We talked to him a bit before the trial began and he told us he made law review and was top three in his class, two feats that Bastiat never accomplished. Our humble attorney decided to devote his life to defending the common man while Bastiat spends his life suckling on the teat of the fossil fuels industry and exploiting working folks.

Needless to say the case was dismissed in record time. Bastiat was completely shook by the outcome and got down on his hands and knees and begged us while crying to stop publishing the truth. But we refused then and we will continue to refuse, until Trump either fixes this country or the second Civil War starts and we are called to action. In a move to cope with the decision, Bastiat brought a real lawyer onto his stream and interviewed him. At the timestamped link below, Bastiat asked him how hard it is to sue organizations like the Bastiat News Network and The Onion. In summary: extremely hard.

The real lawyer confirmed what we already knew since we have been through the court system. Now that we have one court case behind us, we are looking forward to actively encouraging even more streamers to sue us in order to waste their time and limited money. We are back, and we have a list of people who we plan on taking down. Fuck Twitch streamers, fuck lawyers, and fuck Joe Biden.

Vote Trump

Written by: Gohndim