Twitch Politics To Suffer Slow, Painful Death Now That Orange Bad Man Is Gone

Now that even Fox News has called the election for Joementia, Twitch politics streamers need to come to terms with the fact that their income will most probably be cut in half or disappear entirely. This drastic income reduction will cause thousands of parents to have to open their wallets to further support their struggling children.

What will humanity do without the expert critiques of Mike the lawyer from PA? Who will read us CNN articles if Geek is finally forced to find a job? Will Twitch panels be gone for good? Hopefully.

Perhaps the biggest consolation prize of this election for those of us who regrettably spend any time on Twitch at all is that the political content should slowly, but quietly, die off. Without Trump, what will all of these people talk about every day? Many streamers have been open about this conundrum. Take Bastiat for example, who recently said on stream “I hope Florida turns blue but I voted for Trump out of my own self-interest. As a landlord and a Twitch streamer, I really had no choice.”

GeekwitglassesTV, who used to be a streamer until he quit to be a full-time NEET, also admitted that voting for Trump would help Twitch politics. Geek spoke in private to Rareest Pepper saying “…and look, if I’m being honest here all of these dipshit leftists on Twitch will suffer if Trump loses. It’s all they talk about. I don’t understand how these people get so many views when I put in a lot of hard work streaming once every five days and can only manage three viewers. Fuck them.” When pressed on who he voted for Geek refused to provide a clear answer.

While Trump may have lost, a Joe Biden presidency should result in a massive improvement of discourse on Twitch. Perhaps the pendulum will swing the other direction and we can all enjoy a large influx of strong, intelligent Conservative voices because quite frankly those are lacking. God bless you all on this glorious Sunday.


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