Time To Sell Florida To China

Make no mistake, Florida is the absolute worst state in the Union. Not only does Bastiat live there, but Florida is generally full of low IQ inbreds who are responsible for nine out of every ten ridiculous crime stories that you’ve ever heard.

On Sunday Florida set a record for individual states by recording over 15,000 new Bat Flu cases in a 24 hour period. More than New York, Arizona, California, or any other location across the country to date. Many analysts were SHOCKED by this development. When Florida first reopened its beaches weeks ago, no one thought cases would rise.

A recent BBC article titled “Cornavirus: How did Florida get his so badly with COVID-19?” used a beach packed full of morons for the cover image. They shouldn’t have had to write anything in the article itself. Florida really is a walking meme. Back in late March, a Florida commissioner for some small shit town shared with the world a cure for Bat Flu: using a hair dryer to propel hot air molecules up your nostril to kill the virus.

Florida has no redeeming qualities other than a few neat places in Miami. The rest of the state is an utter embarrassment even to Floridians. I’ve never once met someone from Florida who spoke highly of their fellow residents. You can’t be proud of where you came from if there truly is nothing to be proud of. Let’s just sell this piece of shit territory to China.

–Gohndim